Showing posts with label Alzheimer's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alzheimer's. Show all posts

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Remembering When Dad Remembered

The clock reads 4:33 a.m.

This is the time my mind is the most awake lately.  Lots of good prayer time; lots of good time to think of the people I love.

This early morning my thoughts turn to my dad.  Remembering when he remembered me.

My earliest memories are of our family living with his parents until we could find a house big enough for three and one-on-the-way children.

When we moved to our new house, dad used to take the bus to work.  My sisters and I used to watch down the street for him to get off the bus at dinner time.  Three piece suit, hat and briefcase. So dapper.

We used to run down the block so he would pick us up and swing us around and around and then walk him home to supper.  On winter days we would hide in wait with snowballs at the ready. If we hit him with a snowball we knew to expect him to wash our faces in snow.  It never deterred us.

My dad used to cut the grass in his dress shirts.  He would get home from work, take off his coat and tie (not sure if vests were still in at this point) and go cut the lawn while it was still light out.

He used to make us burgers on the grill, doused in beer!

I remember sledding down snowy hills on his lap.  He would wear his duck waders and that was our sled.  We would ride like the wind.

I have a picture-it-in-my-head memory because I was at a cousin's for a sleepover on this occasion, of another time the duck waders were used.  We had a bat in the bathroom.  A tiny bat.  The kids that were home could not sleep until said bat was taken care of.  So dad pulled on his duck waders, his winter coat (it was July), and a hat.  Then he sat down and had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to help get up his nerve.  He put on some gloves and grabbed the broom and took care of that bat.

We used to go to Lexington, MI in the summer.  One year we rented a big old house that had been taken over by spiders.  We kids had to stay outside while mom and dad went in and made it almost livable.  I'm pretty sure Scotch was involved!

He used to take us to the beach and swing us over the water on the rope swing.

My dad's favorite party was Barnfunc. A many differently spelled way party that meant Christmas was two weeks away.  He loved to pickle the cows' tongues and make the Func, Vodka, honey and lemon brewed to perfection on the stovetop.


My dad introduced us to Star Trek and the Six Million Dollar Man.  When he read the paper he would let us try to distract him by not getting too upset when we would punch the paper to make him pay attention to us. 

He taught me how to balance a checkbook and pay my bills.  Because he was an accountant he had a 10 key and boy did his fingers fly on that thing.  Saturday mornings were bank days.  My working siblings and I would get out our meager bills, stamps, checkbooks and pens and sit down and pay our bills while dad pay the household bills.  Money was not discussed! It was none of our business, but he would help us if we needed his input. 

Dad did not discuss his faith, but by gum we were at Mass, dressed up, every Sunday.  If we misbehaved we got the eye and a finger snap that put us in our place immediately. 

As he got older, he would pray the Rosary with us.  It, and daily Mass, had finally become a comfort to him thanks to mom. 

When the grandkids started coming along he would love on them, too.  Their tiny diapers and onsies were referred to as "little shits" (but never the children!)  He would sing to them and read them books.  Amelia Bedelia was a favorite as was Winnie the Pooh.  Poor Eeyore; it wasn't bad enough that he suffered from depression, but dad added insult to injury by calling him Eyesore.  The kids loved it.


Dad doesn't know who I am anymore but for some reason he remembers his nickname for Wayne.  He calls him "big guy" to this day.



For the longest time, when other memories were gone, he remembered his big sister, Pat. 


We have to visit him now at a memory care facility where other care givers give mom a hand. 



The one face he never forgets is his wife,


because when you've been married to this beauty for 55 years, it's hardly a face you could forget. 


Love you both to pieces!!


Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Road Trip

In my post last year titled "Losing Dad", I shared how we have cared for family members with Alzheimer's.  Our family has seen a lot of it over the past 25 years or so:  my grandpa,  a couple of his brothers, my aunt on my dad's side and my dad himself.  Unfortunately, it is also showing up on my mom's side of the family as her sister is now in an assisted living facility with the same diagnosis.  

In December 2012, my mom voiced a desire to go see her sister, in Indiana.  I made a mental note to see if we could get down there for a visit in January 2013.  Then, the rough year with my dad started.  There was no way they could both make the trip, and my dad did not want my mom out of sight.  This December, on Christmas Eve, we moved my dad to a memory care facility.  He is doing very well there, in his corner "office" with his name on the door,  and mom is adjusting to visiting and taking care of all the paperwork that in involved in these situations.

My dad and three of the grandchildren. 
My mom's world has opened up a little since he was admitted. She made a trip to California, in February, to see my brother and his family.  


Then, in April, we finally made our road trip to Indiana. We drove there and back in two days.  It was amazing!  The weather was perfect; the roads were fairly free of traffic and the company was great. 

I have short arms, thus the hacked off sign. :-)

When we arrived at the care facility, Pat wasn't sure who we were.  She looked at my mom and my mom told her it was Noreen.  Then she looked at me and her face lit up like a beacon!  I've been told, often lately, that I look like my mom,  and Pat's reaction confirmed that!  

This is mom and Pat after a 5 year absence from each other. This photo makes me tear up with happiness!!!  


Happy sisters!!


Pat and me. 

While in Indiana, we stayed with my cousin and her family.  I haven't seen them in a lot longer than 5 years, so it was wonderful to catch up.  No idea where life will take us next, but open to another adventure.



Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Losing Dad

Thankfully my dad is still with us physically. Mentally is another matter.

I watched my brother and sister-in-law take care of her mom and dad when they had dementia and Alzheimer's.

I watched my mom and dad take care of his mom and dad when they went through it.

Now, I am actively watching and helping my siblings help our mom take care of our dad.

As I contemplated writing this months ago, I had considered titling the post, "I choose to laugh."  I still think the sentiment has merit but now it is more in the losing stage than the laughing stage.

At first, little things he did that made us think his memory was going were cute and funny.

At this point, his agitation and confusion are more worrisome.

I'm blessed that for a couple of weeks before Easter he and I got to go for nice long walks together around the neighborhood.  This gave us together time and it gave my mom some alone time.  Beneficial for all of us.  Lately, he doesn't recognize the neighborhood or the even the house on some days, so he won't walk with me anymore.  But, he has his golf stroke counter and so we sit in the living room looking out the big front window and count cars together.  He has two counters so anyone who is visiting can be in on the fun. :-)

My siblings and I have banded together and we're putting plans in place. We are well aware that any plan may change at any time but we're willing to be flexible to be there to support our parents who have been there for us always.

One thing about having the best parents in the world is that it makes it a joy to help!

I may post some of the funnier moments at some point or maybe I'll just keep giving updates on how we're doing.  At any rate,  you can add this dimension of our lives to your prayers as well.

PS- The chemo treatments are going well with no severe side effects as yet.  Thanks for prayers and support!  (see "When Cancer Hits Home" for details.)